I spent the weekend taking care of the lawn.
Bought a lawnmower, fired that boy up, mowed like a maniac.
Borrowed my father-in-law's weed-whacker, whacked the hell out of many a weed.
Then stood there, downed a cold Budweiser, and considered what I had done.
Stood there nodding in appreciation and self-regard, the primitive American male mantra rising unbidden to the front of my mind.
"Good lawn. Good work. Me hungry."
Holy Gob and all of the saints, I need to get back to the city.
I need some random shouting and ear-splitting sirens and packs of young tattooed bohos jaywalking and jabbering self-importantly about their retro-punk ska band.
Need that sweet-sour smell of the Chinatown garbage rising in the morning sun.
But, man. Seriously.
You should see that lawn.
Our MMMQ stays in the hills and tests your redneck I.Q. and/or your encyclopedic knowledge of late 60s prime-time televised entertainment.
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs, acknowledged masters of Country and Western, appeared on what T.V. show as "Cousin" Lester and "Cousin" Earl?
1. Petticoat Junction
2. The Beverly Hillbillies
3. The Andy Griffith Show
Winners get a Cabin in the Sky, losers have to sleep outside with the dogs.