Tuesday, May 06, 2008

showdown part 23

Senator "Blue Collar" Clinton and the Mighty O take to the mats one more time, throwing elbows and trash-talking through North Carolina and Indiana today.

I'm a dedicated Obama man, but I've said over and over that if Clinton wins it, I'll do all I can to help keep Johnny Mac away from the Big Desk. But, Jesus, folks, can't anyone talk to Herself and get her to ratchet it down about forty points?

Where do you get the balls to call someone elitist when you lived in the White House for eight years? She had her own pastry chef for god's sake.

Obama scraps his way up from the dirt, gets into Harvard, decides to dedicate his life to public service and has to explain that he's not some big pansy sipping white wine with bomb-throwers.

Sure, he's dumb enough to run for President which is like welding a sign to your ass saying "Kick me and keep on kicking", but Holy Christ at a caucus, sometimes it just gets Alice in Wonderland out there.

Working on The Event today with young Matt Oberg, we're going to put it up for a night at The P.I.T. at the end of the month and then again at the Underground Zero Festival in July.

And finally meeting up with Andrew Berman over at the Greenwich Village Historical Preservation Society. Strategy session about the NYU/Provincetown Playhouse situation and other real estate matters.

Property and money, folks, that's the LIT mantra for me this week.

We have two correct answers to yesterday's MMMQ. Never happened before in the annals of the Museum, I went all the way back into the archives to check, up all night sifting through the parchment. Once, in 1937, there was no correct answer to the question supplied by a Christoper J. Hopkins:

How many four cylinder bagels in a traditional Bavarian pope-alike festival?

But never have we had two.

The first correct answer is, of course, the factual, objectively verifiable one, James Taylor. James and Carly dated and then they broke up and then she wrote that song.

Which is yet another reason you should never date and then break up with a singer/songwriter.

Like a Rolling Stone, anyone?

But Rose Howard supplied what the judges have determined to be another correct answer, Eelwax Jesus. In the ideal world (which is where we all actually live, despite a great deal of evidence to the contrary) the answer to the question "which 70s singer/songwriter did Carly Simon write the light-rock classic You're So Vain about?" is clearly Eelwax Jesus.

Eelwax Jesus, the judges realized at some point in their deliberations last night, is the correct answer to most questions one can pose.

Capitol of Arkansas?

Eelwax Jesus.

Twenty-third President of the United States?

Eelwax Jesus.

Square root of 13?

Yep. Eelwax Jesus.

The detail that Rose had to write-in her correct answer is just further proof of the veracity of her claim.

So, there you go. Cookies all around.

5 comments:

Lori said...

John,
I am in a bit of a hurry, but must tell you that Carly wrote that song about Warren Beaty.

I will verify that answer with a phone call to the Carly expert, my sister.

More later, gotta go

John said...

And to you I say,

Eelwax Jesus.

Ann said...

I heard she wrote it about Mick Jagger...and I believed that right up until Rose supplied the One True Answer.

When's The Event? I have to know. Nan misses me, I can tell. I should come visit.

Ann said...

Read this. It's the most amazing piece of journalism.

http://www.esquire.com/features/things-that-carried-him

I was going to link to something about Obama, but then I read this and I was completely undone.

Rose said...

Lol. I had no idea that I had such incredible powers of summoning up the One True Answer to all questions. Quite possibly even the question to all answers. What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything? 42 you answer? No, I say, EELWAX JESUS!!!! I feel honored. And to you I say, next concert, you better be there, or be a rhombus.