Monday, March 31, 2008

come on, April

Yeah, I'm done with March this year. In like a lion and out like a caged lion on fire, clawing and roaring and biting and, well, on fire for fuck's sake.

Turning the page tomorrow may not change a thing, but it's going to feel good, still.

I wonder how they handle April Fool's Day around the hospital?

"Your tests have come back and I'm afraid... well... perhaps you should call your family. And tell them... that your doctor is some kind of nut! Ha! I was just screwing around! Ha! Got you! Why are you clutching your chest and not breathing? Are you just screwing around back at me? Sir? Umm... sir? Uh oh. Nurse! Nurse! Get my lawyer on line one, please!"

And Nurse Rita goes through this every year on April 1st. She's on the phone with the lawyer,

"Yeah, Randy? Yeah, it's Rita. He killed another one. I know. I know. All right. Will I see you tonight at the place? All right. Love you, too."


The weekend was all right, all things considered. My folks flew in from St. Louis and lots of good people came up to the Unit and distracted Ms. Walsh. She busted out yesterday morning, Teapot Splint and all, wheeling her IV tree right out of the front doors of the hospital to stand in the sunshine for about twenty minutes. Hospital security and random New Yorkers just staring at her in her hospital gown.

She was beaming like the Sun Itself.

She can only go through doors sideways, left arm leading the charge. Kind of like a human battering ram. Which is what she really is, I guess.

Trying to get some work done this morning. Edinburgh, Winchester and I'm doing a ten-minute thing next Monday at Dixon Place. Will have to rehearse that at some point this week, I suppose.

Missed the Monday Morning Music Quiz last week. The only song I could hear that day was Art Blakey's A Night in Tunisia, banging and rattling through my head at top volume, had to shout out my thoughts to myself over the racket.

I'm better now.

So, let's play Spot the Phoney:

Three of these songs are real and sound great when played loudly. One of them hasn't been written yet.

1. Take Me Down to the Hospital, The Replacements

2. Tuff Enuff, The Fabulous Thunderbirds

3. Drive the Pain, The Soup Dragons

4. Baby's Burning, Rev. Horton and the Heat

Extra points if you can quote the opening lines of the real ones, gold stars if you can write the opening lines of the phoney.


Ann said...

MMMQ, Oh how I have missed you!

- "I can't breathe, I can't swallow
Here today, gonna be back tomorrow."

- "I would walk (mumble...2? 10? I sing it as 10) miles on my hands and knees"

- "I take a ride and hit the city"

- "The things you can live through, well, they amaze me"

See what I did there? I tried to be a good global citizen and leave the floor open for others...say, Rose, for instance. I miss Rose.

Anonymous said...

Omri and I went to the circus last night and both of us couldn't stop thinking about Overlord.

Our prayers are with you. Wish I could do more.


Rose said...

Aha! I steal the floor with my evil! Here goes, my final answer.

Drive the pain by The Soup Dragons?

I want a soup dragon shirt. Ann, give me a soup dragon shirt? I imagine a dragon made of one of those hokey cheap paper NYC containers of soup. You know, the white ones with blue and pink designs on them? And a big dragon head coming out one end, a big dragon tail coming out the other, and hot steaming soup in the middle...

It was good to see Nancy on Friday. Is there another good evening for visiting?

Ann said...

Rose! There you are! I've missed you, too.

Believe it or not, I have an actual honest-to-god Soup Dragons shirt around here somewhere. Saw 'em play in Dallas. But I like your idea as soon as I get a bunch of cheap labor (I'm thinking my stepkids) and some t-shirts - you. are. set.

John said...

So was it at the Soup Dragons concert that you offended the civic pride and home-grown decency of some Texas trooper, Ann?

Those boys are serious out there.

Finally home.

She had a really good day.

John said...

And Rosie, yeah, any day is a good day from here on out, I think. Just call me first so's I can schedule.

Ann said...

Nope, I behaved myself at the Soup Dragons concert. Well, mostly. Memories of the end of the evening are...sketchy.

My brush with the law happened in Austin. I believe that trooper just plain did not like women from the North...and I can unequivocally state that he did not like being cursed at.

So glad Herself had a good day yesterday. Coming to see you guys on Saturday, get that list of Shit You Need Done ready.

Rose said...

Aha! Mysterious Ann will be in town! I must scheme to meet her. Scheme...scheme....

Ann said...

I am the least mysterious person EVER, Rose. Pretty much you meet me and ten minutes later, when the Ann Experience has washed over you, you feel like I was a minor character in every good novel you've ever read.

But don't take my word for it - let's hang!

John said...

This is going to be fun.

Ann, you want to crash on the couch again?

Ann said...

Depends...I don't want to be in your hair or make things difficult in any way...on the other hand, I really dig your shower.

Should I come down Friday after work and stay Friday night? What time do visiting hours end? Will you let me cook for you and leave insane amounts of food in the fridge? Will there be drinking and smoking and tall-tale telling?