Tuesday, December 13, 2011

curioser and curioser

It's true what someone once said about something else,

You wait around long enough and you'll see everything twice.

So here we all are forced into taking Newton Leroy Gringrich seriously.


Anyone who doesn't believe in artificial intelligence just needs to look hard into the Mittbot's eyes; the rise of Newt is killing his cyborg soul.  The pain, confusion and sorrow may not be human, but they're real and it hurts to watch.

The idea of Gingrich as a nominee, let alone a president, is of course alternately hilarious and horrifying.  For my Republican friends, imagine if the Democrats nominated George McGovern.  That's about the way it feels for you guys to be supporting Newt.

Everyone's going to be piling on but let's just clear up a few things at the start:

Having a lot of ideas does not qualify you as an intellectual.  If that were true, every cokehead would be a Rhodes Scholar.

Teaching history and geography at West Georgia College for eight years in the 1970s does not qualify you as an historian.  It makes you a former history and geography teacher at West Georgia College.

Getting older doesn't make you wiser, kinder or essentially any different than you were when you were young and active.

Newt may be a 68 year old grandfather, but he's a 68 year old grandfather who has cheated on two wives, shut down the US government partially because he was denied a seat on Air Force One, had 84 ethics charges filed against him during his term as Speaker and in 1997 admitted that "In my name and over my signature, inaccurate, incomplete and unreliable statements were given to the (House Ethics) committee".

He's the guy who led the impeachment charge against Clinton while engaged in an extramarital affair.

You can argue policies day and night, but you can't argue against the fact that Newt Gingrich is an undisciplined, unprincipled ego-crazed hypocrite.

And do you honestly think that the power of the Presidency is going to temper him in any way?

Like fighting fire with gasoline, folks.


ThatAnn said...

I feel about Newt about the way I felt about Jesse Helms...and we can't talk about how I felt about Jesse Helms, this is a family blog.

The thing about Newt is this: if absolute power corrupts absolutely, and Newt **does** somehow manage to not self-destruct long enough to snag the nomination?

He will, during the course of the general campaign, prove to be both fire and gasoline. He will self-destruct and flame out in a spectacular way, and I will laugh like this while he does it:

Oh. You can't hear me on this blog. Too bad! It was an awesome cackle.

If they nominate Newt, his entire staff will be armed will tranquilizer guns and roofies. One for the candidate, one for those who come in close contact with him.

John said...

Hoping you're right. He's being so contained and cool right now it's frightening.

And have you heard people comparing his re-emergence to Nixon in '68? The "new" Nixon?

Let's all just remember how well that one turned out.